Marysa Bonnema lives in Montreal, Quebec and has graduated from School of Ministry’s Heart and Advance Modules. She...
"My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26 NKJV)
“Where is this feeling coming from?” I asked myself as I was preparing for my morning jog. I wondered what it might be that was causing me to feel a little less upbeat than usual. So, as I often do while getting ready in the morning, I took time to pray and listen to Jesus’ heart. I felt a little discouraged afterwards because I did not feel anything shift, or change. I still felt as I did earlier, with many questions running through my mind. I tried to push them aside hoping in doing so they would no longer bother me. I grabbed my music and my running shoes, and made my way out the door. My heart was feeling heavy. I knew that it was in moments such as this that Holy Spirit might want to reveal lies that I was believing. While jogging, I began sharing with Jesus my concerns, and asking Holy Spirit to reveal to me what was going on within my heart. I was then reminded of Psalm 73:26.
It is Jesus desire that we do not find strength through what we do, using our achievements to feel better about ourselves. Rather, He longs for our hearts to find their home in the palm of His hand, where He alone is the one filling and strengthening us. I find myself again and again needing to place my heart back into His hands. Continually surrendering our hearts to Jesus lifts the pressure off of our own shoulders. When I hold my heart in my own hands, I disconnect myself from the source of Him who is my portion. Control will keep us from intimacy, and will lead us to striving rather than rest. It is in control that we believe that the expectations we set up for our lives must be reached in order to get things “right”. However, our righteousness is found in Christ alone. We come alive as we allow Jesus to pursue our hearts, and enjoy us. Our hearts are strengthen by Him and for Him.
We are the joy and delight of His heart. He has gone before us in everything that we have decided to do, unseen, seen, planned, and unplanned. Our Father is all knowing, and confidently leads us back under the shadow of His wing. There is a greater plan, and a bigger picture that we may not yet see. However, in the process and the journey, He is patient. We are not called to reach expectations, rather we are to be still and allow our Father to love us. Intimacy will direct our hearts towards our primary goal, and then everything else will fall into place as He predestined it to be.
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